Listening To Others While Chasing Our Dreams

At an early age I was taught to listen to others especially grown-ups. Where I grew up I had family friends that would watch me when I was running the neighborhood with my friends as a kid. If we got out of line they would pull us to the side and chastise us. If we did something that they did not agree with they would not hesitate to send us home to explain to our parents.

In school we listen to teachers, resource officers, counselors and administrative staff. It was our job to follow the rule book and to comply with rules and policies. Those that did not listen and were caught were often disciplined. In school many times my teacher and or staff members did not have my best interest in mind. As a kid at times there was nothing that I could do about it.

Shortly after my 18th birthday I joined the Navy and started Boot Camp. Once again I was listening to others. Boot Camp was an experience in itself. I found out a lot about myself. I also learned what some of the Boot Camp instructors thought of me. Let’s just say the criticism was very constructive. While in the Navy I went to Field Medical Service School (FMSS). This school was instructed by Marine Corps drill sergeants and Navy personnel. It made Navy Boot Camp seem like child’s play. While in class when an instructor entered a room they would yell out one word. Eyeballs. Upon hearing the word eyeballs no matter what you were doing you stopped and turned your head to the instructor no matter where they were at and the entire class yelled snap. The instructor had the classes undivided attention.

In the military we learned discipline, honor, courage and commitment to name a few characteristics. It was important for the class as a whole to learn to communicate and take orders. In times of war it could save our life or the lives of my fellow shipmates.

In life we have to understand who is with us and who is not. Not all criticism and critiquing in life is for the betterment of the receiver. I am a nurse and there is a saying that nurses eat their babies. Meaning that instead of nurturing new graduates or helping new staff to the unit at times some staff members do the complete opposite. Negative criticism and displays of negative attitudes can be projected to those that are there to learn and help.

I was reading a post not long ago from a new graduate that wanted to get an advanced degree and become a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA). Several staff members heard that the new graduate wanted to continue her education and began to tell her that she did not need to continue her education. They informed her that she needed to concentrate on working on the floor that she worked and that she needed to put her focus in the environment that she is in. Being a new graduate working on the unit should be her goals.

This is disheartening to hear. Being a nurse I have seen this happen time and time again. Whether it is a manager on the floor keeping the staff on an unit that they do not want to be on by telling them that they need to stay on the floor for a certain number of years to get experience, and that they are not ready to transfer. To staff members talking negatively to each other instead of uplifting each other.

There is a point when a person is to listen to others and a time that advice should be ignored. As previously stated above we are often conditioned over time to respect and listen to those in position of authority such as managers, those older than us and or those with seniority.

There comes a time when listening to constructive criticism can be a hindrance and is not helpful. The new nurse on the floor is being hindered from dreaming and pursuing her dreams and this is not how anyone should be treated.

I responded to the post for the girl to continue to dream and chase her goals. It did not matter that she was a new graduate or if she had been a nurse for 10 years. Happiness is important in life and how can someone be happy with being restrained in their profession. How can someone tell me that it is not possible to do something that they have never accomplished. Do they have the right to do this? I do not think so and will explain why.

If you want to be a CRNA you should talk to CRNAs about their profession, or talk to CRNA students about how they got into the position that you want to be in. This is where the knowledge is that an applicant needs. If you want to be a basketball player you do not consult with hockey players about a future in basketball and etc.

We as dreamers cannot spend too much time listening to those that do not have the ambition, want, need or desire to advance their career in the ways that we see fit. Although we are taught to listen to people there comes a time when listening is not productive.

There is no special amount of time that a nurse must work on the floor before they are magically ready to advance to another unit, return to school, or start pursing other ambitions. The individual person sets the time and that person alone. Do the research and start the process before you are ready.

Lastly, not everyone needs to know your goals. It is sad to say but if you think that they are negative do not tell them. Small people will discourage those with big dreams. Learn who is on your team to help and who is just there to watch. If need be stay silent and crush your goals.

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